"Cute without the E (Cut From the Team)"

Dearest The Internets,

Hello, my darling! How glad I am to see you again.

Nothing new to report 'round these parts. Currently sitting around anxiously awaiting tonight's episode of Ugly Betty. (♥ x infinity!) Yeah, on a Friday night...how lame am I?

Anyway, I wanted to come and talk about how repulsive my outfit was for today. I'm not a big fan of "Casual Fridays" because if you ask me its an excuse for some people to dress like lazy unattractive slobs. And let me tell you, I  felt like a lazy unattractive slob today. As you may know (maybe?) I have two jobs. One of them is at a movie theatre on the weekends and I wear a uniform there. The other job is at an elementary school. Ahem.

So today, Friday, I wore a school polo with a black dickies pinstripe pencil skirt. I'm sure you're thinking that doesn't sound so bad, but listen.  The polo is hunter green and it definitely doesn't go with the skirt. And to make it even worse, I wore gray leggings under it. Not tights, LEGGINGS. And my favourite most accessible pair of army green Chucks. I did wear a cute hat  but it was unfortunately lost in the mess of horrible outfit, gross hair, no make-up.

Yeah.....I was what you call a hot-ass-mess. Yikes! I'm not proud of it, either. Some days just call for being ugly, I guess?

Well, Internets, I better go now that you've had a little giggle at my expense. I just stuffed myself silly with Taco Bell and I feel slightly toxic and barf-y. Yum?

Sincerely,

ekg♥

"This Is Just A Modern Love Song"

Dearest You,

Idea!

Beth Ditto for Target.
Beth Ditto for H&M.
Beth Ditto for Torrid.
Beth  Ditto for AnyStoreInAmericaThatICanPhysicallyGoTo.

Is that really too much to ask?  I didn't think so. Why should evans have all the fun? Who can I talk to about this?

Long live my pipiest of dreams! And  long live the King! Elvis, that is...

Truly,

ekg♥

"A Celebration Upon Completion"

Dear The Internets!

Ay. Dios. Mio! (Oh. My. God!)

I'm not exactly sure why I'm so excited for this (see: it's not like any of it will fit me... unless there's a scarf or two in the mix.), but I am. Are you ready?  Jean Paul Gaultier for TARGET? Yesssss! 

(( (((http://nymag.com/daily/fashion/2009/10/jean_paul_gaultier_to_do_targe.html))) ))) See!

Congratulations are in order, Skinny Bitches. I tip my hat to you. On the ol' (availability of) Fashion Scoreboard-  You: 3,382,561 Fatties: 13.5

(Do you just love how I cleverly made the TARGET logo with a HEART? Thought so.)

Terribly green with envy,

ekg♥

P.S. I hate would like to punch people who refer to Target as T-ahr-jay. Its not even cute! Your attempts at faux-"class" are insulting.  Seriously. The logo isn't a bulls-eye for nothing.  Now go stand in front of it so the rest of us can shoot you with our poisonous arrows of trivial hate.

"Vices"

Dear Internets,

I am home sick. As I type, there is a mad storm of awfulness brewing inside of me. It's rather disgusting!  I'm feeling super light-headed and giggly, however, so I guess there's an upside.  Before I fall asleep again, I wanted to come show you this lovely find for Fall...

$22.50, online only

Yes, that's right! Our very own black miniskirt made entirely of sequin (and love!) Thank you, Wet Seal.  You done good!

Now... if only your entire plus collection wasn't "online only." Grrrrrr...?

On a sad note: Dear Torrid, Please stop making your plaid pleated miniskirts.  Forever!  They're an insult to all fatties who are actually fashionable and cute. I don't care if they're a top seller. They're revolting. Seriously. Have you ever seen them out on the streets? The people who buy these every year are tragic because you keep supplying them with a garment that they just don't know how to wear.  It's all baaaaad news! Fail. Fail! Make it stop.

Your friend in sickness and in health,

ekg♥

"Paint a Vulgar Picture"

 The Internets-

There are days when nothing in the world makes me feel more disgusting than my movie theatre uniform. The heavy non-slip men's shoes that are all warped because I stand ridiculously pigeon toed. The polo that scratches my skin and clashes with the majority of my blush selection. The black men's workpants that are just disgusting mostly because I only have one pair, but also because they're mens pants and men have no hips so no matter what size I get I always have wild muffin top. I have always tried to make it fun  (see: bearable) for myself by wearing a hair accessory or a fun ring, but...yeah.

Carry on.. 

ekg♥

P.S. Have you ever worn a work uniform, Internets? Tell me about it...

"This Could Be Love"

Dearest The Internets,

I'm feeling a little woozy and my heart is racing. B & Lu's Fall 2009 dress selection is begging to be loved by yours truly. I have selected my Top 3 choices in the dress catergory. Ready...GO!

1.) The Layla Dress- Plum

Who can say no to that neckline? Please, I dare you!  I can see myself being ridiculously good looking in this dress and some gray slouchy boots.

2.) The Raquel Dress- Black

Basic. Black. Boom! Enough said.

3.) The Owl Dress- Paprika/Gray

This one is not actually "NEW" and I've had my eye on it for a little bit, but its definitely praise worthy. I love owls, I love dresses and I love color blocks. When those three things come together as one, well, colour me in lust.

Swoon!

Feverishly yours,

ekg♥

"Sweetness"

Dearest The Internets,

 I have been asking myself the same question you have.  But truth be told, I'm not exactly sure why or how donuts came to be so delicious. It just...happened?

Also, I plan on doing daily/weekly outfit pictures very soon.  CHA CHA CHA! So stay tuned for that, if that's what you're into and we can be the business!

Thanks for reading!

Your girl forever,

ekg♥

"Grand Theft Autumn"

 Dearest Internets,

A dear friend and I were briefly commenting on our excitement for Fall...Autumn, if you will. (And I think you will.) Fall is the greatest fashion time of the year. Why, say you? Well, because you can do so much! Lets be real for a minute... don't we all just look a million times cuter when we are not sweating our proverbial balls off? Yes, I thought so.

The purple sky is the limit to my Fall-time wardrobe! Scarves! Hats! Tights! Leggings! (okay, this is year round, but shhhh...!)  Layered necklaces! Multiple bangles! Sweaters! Cardigans! Vests over sweaters! Belts over sweaters! Belts over cardigans! Boots! Boots! Boots! Do I really need to continue?

My fat girl heart flutters and my entire body tingles at the thought of this most wonderful season. Don't get me wrong, all those things can definitely be worn and enjoyed year-round... especially by people who don't live in atrocious weathered cities (unlike myself)! However, during this time of year you can wear those things AND sip delicious hot cocoa. Yeah, I said it. Hot cocoa!

Mmmmmm....Fall! I'd marry you, if I had the chance. Or at the very least, make you my top bitch.

Sincerely,

ekg♥

P.S. Tell me, The Internets, what are some of your favourite fashion trends and staples for Fall?