Wednesday, November 11, 2009

"Science vs. Romance"

Dear The Internets,


Hmmmmm....I hate dating, honestly. Maybe I don't hate it. I just hate the fact that I'm not very good at it. It's just hard. It's hard to share yourself with a stranger, in my opinion. I have an irrational dislike for that so I usually end up "dating"/"liking" people from my day to day life. Neighbors, coworkers, schoolmates, boys who work at Wells Fargo, etc. That has not worked out so well, let me tell you. I mean, at first I will say that yes- dating people you already know is rather useful. They know your quirks already, so they're not surprised by the random shit you do. Many of them have seen how you look like in the morning...hallelujah! Etc. Etc. Etc.

However! (Oh yes, there is always a HOWEVER when it comes to things that seem easy) things don't always go as smoothly as one would hope. And by that I mean that things usually turn to shit rather quickly.

Dating only people you already know is really hard to maintain.  Because you're limited, first of all, to who you date. More importantly, when things end (and trust me, they usually will) it will be that much harder to let go because you don't want to kick them out of your life completely, yet they really need to go away. ASAP. Or, you will find yourself having to be all avoidant and weird because you don't want to run into them even though you most likely always will.

Following me, Internets?

Dating as a FAT GIRL is even trickier. Most guys who are my age (or close to it) do not want to date a fat girl. They don't care that I'm fucking fabulous. They don't care that I'm stylish. They don't care that I'm smart and reasonably educated. They don't care that I'm a really great kisser and relatively flexible.  All they care about is what their friends will say. Oh, rubbish! So obviously, there isn't alot of honest-t0-goodness dating opportunities with these cats. And really, a girl needs another friend with benefits or one-night-stand like she needs another chin.

Then there is the flip side. Those guys who looooooooove fat girls, sometimes a little too much. It's creepy, really. To only be enamoured to a person's size? That's randomly nuts!  But it happens. And these guys always seem to find me too, whether it be online or at the supermarket.

Attention! The following line is NOT flattering to fat girls.

"I'm not usually attracted to bigger girls, but...." Neither is "I have this thing for Big Beautiful Women."

Really? Because I don't have this thing for Weird Creepy Men approaching me in parking lots.

If one more guy says this to me, ever, I may just jump off a cliff (into a pool of pudding, of course!) Mmmmm....I love chocolate pudding.

Anyway, yeah.  I hate dating.

Yours truly,



Who are you Weesha? said...

Ugh, totally feel you on this one. Dating sucks- the mind games especially!

mandi said...

and you ARE fucking fabulous.

mara said...

Great post, EKG!!! Very eloquent and on point. :D