"I Walk the Line"

In-ter-net!

I went to Ross today  in search of a ceramic snail I foolishly passed on during my last visit (don't ask!). I'm sad to inform you that the snail was gone.  First of all, can you believe someone beat me to it? I mean...really? No one loves garden snails more than me and you know this! 

Anyway, I ended up with four magnificent pairs of sandals instead.  I was trying to not buy four, I swear I was, but it came to me that I don't wear sandals enough. Not because I don't ADORE them, mind you, but because it's hard to come by a pair I love and fit. You know what I'm talking about.  Lucky for me, today I hit the jackpot. They were a steal, so how could I resist? I mean, really. You just don't turn your back on pair of sandals in this day and age. 

The most flattering ones are obviously the purple velvet pair. My favourite, however, is the last pair even though they make my feet look like little beach whales trapped in a fisherman's net. I don't think I have to tell you that I'm ridiculously excited to wear the crap out of these... to the point of exhaustion! They WILL fall apart by the time I'm done with them. Trust, Internets. Trust!

xoxo,

ekg♥

"Island In The Sun"

Dear Internets-

Happy Summer!

I went swimming today for 3 grand hours. While soaking up the sun, I was thinking about how amazing it would be to be as weightless on land as we are in the water. I'd be unstoppable, or even more so.  Seriously, think about it and get back to me. 

Sun kisses and fuzzy hugs,

ekg♥

"Undone- The Sweater Blog."

Dear The Internets Lovealots,

I'm sitting here at nearly 4:00 am thinking of cardigans. Well, mostly I'm thinking about how I don't have nearly enough to satisfy me or my cardigan needs. This situation must be remedied immediately! I prefer 3/4 sleeved ones and it seems like the pickins are SLIM...but duh, it's summer time and most definitely over 110 degrees every day.  But still, a fattie can dream?

My BFF and roommate has an entire full-sized rolling rack dedicated to all her amazing cardigans. I have less than 20 and they're mostly plain. Woe is me, Internets. Woe is me.

Cardigans exist for the following reasons:

1.) To make me happy.

2.) Because wearing multiple layers of clothing is much more amazing than not.

3.) To cover fat arms, or other alarming arm scenarios that are only relevant in our own heads.

4.) To make a non-appropriate  piece of clothing appear appropriate for work in a heartbeat.

5.) To be belted.

6.) To be adorned with prettyful broaches.

7.) To add a pop/splash of colour to a less than exciting ensemble.

8.) To change your look from day to night without having to do too much.

9.) To wear during the winter in places like Arizona, where jackets and trench coats are sadly unnecessary. 

10.) To make me VERY happy. 

Carry on, Internets!  Carry on.

Love,

ekg♥

"New Persepective"

Dear The Internets of mine,

Oh, me! Oh, my! I've been a very very very bad blogger. Almost 6 months since my last update. Do you forgive me?

I don't even know where to begin. So many movies watched. So many cute outfits worn! There's no sense in dwelling on the past, I suppose. It's a brand new day, Internets! I shall never leave you. Pinky promise with a big fat cherry on top.

Your love,

ekg♥

The Lovely Bones

Yo! Internets!

Saw The Lovely Bones last night. It was okay. I'm not entire sure what kind of expectations I had of it going in, but to be completely honest I didn't feel anything coming out. Nothing. It didn't really touch me. I'm not sure. It was longer than it probably should have been and at times (see: often) the imagery was excessively overdone to the point of boredom. Yeah Peter Jackson, I'm talking to you. We get it, CGI is cool. Yawn. Snooze. ZzzzZZZzzZzz.....

2.75 out of 5 yummy cupcakes

Still,  a must see for anyone who enjoyed the book.  But if you wait for DVD, it won't kill you (and leave you stuck in the middle.)

Plus, Internets, I'm so in love with Stanley Tucci!  He was tremendous in the role of the despicable George Harvey. Every time he came on screen I wanted to bash his face in with a rusty crowbar.

Sincerely,

ekg♥

"Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year"

Dearest The Internets!

I got my huuuuur cut! Five (5!!!) whole inches, kid! And guess what? I'm acquiring a digital camera tomorrow. A new Cannon! I foresee lots of daily outfit pics in our future.

[Necklace: Target, Cardigan: Target, Hairbow: Torrid, Face: Heaven]

Smooches!

ekg♥

Youth in Revolt

Dearest The Internets,

I've been neglectful, haven't I? Please don't hate me.

4 out of 5 cupcakes

Youth in Revolt was absolutely perfect. Michael Cera has delivered yet another impeccably perfect "Cera" performance. Love Love Love!

And who would have known that sweet and innocent Charlene became a slutty single mom after the design firm went under. What would Anthony Bouvier do???

Exclusively yours,


ekg♥

The Blind Side

Internets-

The Blind Side was heart-warming and entertaining.  Sandra Bullock is riiiiiiiveting in the innovative role of  a rich, aging white woman. Oh...wait....what?

2 out of 5 yummy cupcake hearts

I can totally see you watching this on DVD. Maybe eating some red vines. Drinking a cold carbonated beverage? Yeaaaaah...I can see it.

love,

ekg♥

"A Spindle, a Darkness, a Fever, and a Necklace"

Dearest The Internets of my heart,

My sister gave me my Christmas pressie early this year. I know, I was totally surprised!!! Anyway, isn't it beautiful? Sugar and spice, and everything nice....

Someone took my absolute love for owls, gaudiness, & Betsey Johnson and exploded it into one magnificent little beauty.

Delightfully yours,

ekg♥

Brothers

Dearest The Internets-

I saw Brothers last night. Every time I see Jake Jyllenadskjfklajdfljadfall and Tobey Maguire separately I always have to stop and think "Is this Jake or Toby". ALWAYS. Thanks to Brothers, I might not have to do that as much.

The movie was fine. And you know what, I'm sure there is a huge audience out there (see: military people and their families, people who have brothers, people who have a heart, etc.) that will really really love it. I was bored, frankly. More Jake Gyllenhaal, less everything else please.

I'm not even going to rate this movie because I wouldn't know how to even start.

Love,

ekg♥

"The (After) Life of the Party"

Dear The Internets,

The leopard print dress I ordered from Torrid came last week! And I loooooooooove it. 

Mini review: It's a lot shorter on me than on the model, but that's to be expected because my torso is long. I paired it with deep smoke coloured tights from LB today, so no worries on the length issue. The fabric, which I was initially worried about based on the description, is absolutely fantastic! It's not clingy or itchy and it looks like it will keep well. I have a feeling I can do a lot of different looks with this piece. So I'm thrilled. All in all, this dress is a must have!

Happy day, indeed.

♥

"Death For My Birthday"

Internets!

Today is my birthday! ♥ I'm 21+7  now. I'm currently floating in a sea of good wishes and love thanks to all my family and my friends...not just here in the states, but all around the world (all because of you,  of course!).

(look at my absolutely lovely stack of kindergartener birthday cards!)

Today I'm here to tell you that I'm going to live the best life I can live and be the best EKG I can be. I'm vowing to put aside all the things that eat away at my happiness. I'm too old to do anything besides what makes me happy.  And that's what I will do!

I better run. My official birthday festivities begin with a yummy lunch at the Pita Jungle and I'm looking rough.

Wink. Wink.

Forever yours,

ekg♥

"Cute without the E (Cut From the Team)"

Dearest The Internets,

Hello, my darling! How glad I am to see you again.

Nothing new to report 'round these parts. Currently sitting around anxiously awaiting tonight's episode of Ugly Betty. (♥ x infinity!) Yeah, on a Friday night...how lame am I?

Anyway, I wanted to come and talk about how repulsive my outfit was for today. I'm not a big fan of "Casual Fridays" because if you ask me its an excuse for some people to dress like lazy unattractive slobs. And let me tell you, I  felt like a lazy unattractive slob today. As you may know (maybe?) I have two jobs. One of them is at a movie theatre on the weekends and I wear a uniform there. The other job is at an elementary school. Ahem.

So today, Friday, I wore a school polo with a black dickies pinstripe pencil skirt. I'm sure you're thinking that doesn't sound so bad, but listen.  The polo is hunter green and it definitely doesn't go with the skirt. And to make it even worse, I wore gray leggings under it. Not tights, LEGGINGS. And my favourite most accessible pair of army green Chucks. I did wear a cute hat  but it was unfortunately lost in the mess of horrible outfit, gross hair, no make-up.

Yeah.....I was what you call a hot-ass-mess. Yikes! I'm not proud of it, either. Some days just call for being ugly, I guess?

Well, Internets, I better go now that you've had a little giggle at my expense. I just stuffed myself silly with Taco Bell and I feel slightly toxic and barf-y. Yum?

Sincerely,

ekg♥

"I Used To Have A Heart"

Internets!

I got suckered into placing an order at Torrid.com by one of the zillions of emails they bombard my inbox with. (It's almost to the point of harassment!)  At first the 30% OFF didn't seem enticing, but then I saw that a Betseyville purse I'd been dreaming about was half off ($59, org. $118) Well, damn. You, and they, know I can't say "no" to THAT. So...I was a naughty ekg and bought some stuff  (dress, glasses, halloween costume,  and the bag of my life).

Admit it, its darling! Happy early birthday to me? Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!

When the package comes, I shall have a full report.

Until next time!

ekg♥

Fantastic Mr. Fox

Dear The Internets-

I must be brief.  Fantastic Mr. Fox was...well, pretty cussing fantastic. George Clooney has always been a fox in my eyes and now he gets to be one literally. Thank you, life. For little enjoyable treasures such as this.

4 out of 5 stolen cupcakes

Yours,

ekg♥

"You Are What You Love"

Dearest The Internets-

This is a happy entry. One to make you smile.  I've been feeling completely bogged down and mentally exhausted this month. I needed this. And so did you?

Gabourey Sidebe

Still yours,

ekg♥

"The Twilight Saga: New Moon"

Dearest The Internets-

So, as mentioned in my last post I saw New Moon last night. (Neener neener, I saw it before you!) Just kidding.

Guhhhhhhh...where to begin? Let me preface this review by saying that I am a big fan of the Twilight Saga books. And now, to slaughter all your hopes and dreams...

 (awesome screencap courtesy of: me!)

The movie was...boring. This is not a total surprise, however, because "New Moon" is actually my least favourite of the books. I find it dull and painful to read. How much time can one spend reading about Bella's pain and anguish? PASS! The movie managed to capture the essence of the book completely, which I guess is a good thing if you enjoyed reading about Bella Swan's misery for hundreds (feels like thousands) of pages. I did not. So you can see that I went in with a bias.

Throughout the movie, I found myself not being able to pay attention (see: texting, staring at the ceiling, squirming in my chair, etc). I also found myself quietly snickering at parts that I'm almost positive weren't meant to be funny. I will admit that as soon as Bella and Alice get to Volterra, I started to enjoy the cheesefest more. Unfortunately, it's already a little too late by that point, no? The studio wants to tell you that the movie is 130 minutes long, but I think that's a farce! This movie is actually a VAMPIRE and its 130 years long. Or at least that's how long it felt.

New Moon Twitter  texts:

10:17- NEW MOON!

10:36- LOL @ glittery edward

10:54- I don't care what anyone says, kristen stewart is a horrible over-actor.

11:13- Not going to lie, kinda disappointed. 

11:14- But the soundtrack is good. I hate bella.

11:19- SPOILER ALERT: Jacob is really buff!

11:20- Jacob just took his shirt off. That's good.

11:43- SPOILER ALERT- Jacob is a werewolf.

12:17-They're in Volterra. This movie no longer sucks. Much like the book, I guess.

12:39- SPOILER ALERT- I think there's going to be another movie.

Can you feel my pain?

And can I please talk about Kristen Stewart, the queen of overreaching? I can't stand her style of acting. Remember that episode of Friends when Joey was talking about his acting method? AKA "smell the fart?" SOMEONE took that advice a little too seriously. KS, I'm talking to you! I'm not sure if its entirely her fault, though, considering she is playing Bella Swan- one of the most annoying literary characters to ever walk across a page of a book. Wah wah wah. Wah wah wah.  I can't stand her (Bella). There, I said it!

So take all of the above mentioned,  combine it with cheesy one-liners; oozingly cheap special effects; ridiculous contacts and make-up that could have been better done by a Junior High Drama Club and you've got yourself New Moon! Wrap it up in a golden bow and take that puppy to the bank!  The kids will love it! Really, they will. And that's sad.  As a fans we seriously deserve more/better, dammit! Maybe in Eclipse?

New Moon positives: The Volturi, the scenes in Volterra,  Dakota Fanning (!!!), Jacob Black sans shirt, the soundtrack. And did I mention Jacob Black is often shirtless? The werewolf fight scene betweet Jacob and Paul was also pretty wicked.

2 out of 5  GENEROUS cupcakes

Now if you'll excuse me I have a beautiful, yet ridiculously sparkly, vampire to attend to!

Love,

ekg♥

"Purple Rain"

Dearest The Internets-

Oh happy day!

Well, almost.

I'm getting ready to go to the screening of New Moon.  Yes, I'm that person. Anyway... I bought this amazing scarf today and even though there was a fun array of colours available, I chose purple.

Just yesterday I was telling my study group that I was not obsessed with the colour purple and that people who obsess over a colour (especially pink) are creepy and freak me out. Unfortunately for me,  I happened to be wearing a black and purple heart-print scarf (Thanks, Miley Cyrus!), a purple ring, and purple toenails. Way to make a case, right? Right.  I don't remember how the conversation got started but I swear it wasn't as hypocritical as it sounds.

Oh, after today I also have an new amazing purple double kiss-lock wallet. I will have you know that I put back a jar of real honey, some cranberry pomegranate juice, and bathroom cleaner to ensure I wasn't over my limet. (SAD!) But believe you me, Internets, I'm NOT obsessed with purple. I'm not. Really.

Or am I?

On a terribly upsetting note: I can't find my Cullen Family Crest...okay, I'm that girl but I swear that's the extent of my madness! Well, if you don't count my Edward poster.  I wanted to wear it on the new scarf tonight. You know, just to be ultra sassy. But alas, it's gone. Woe is me.

Yours truly,

ekg♥

"Mirror Error"

Dear Internets!

I'm going to do something I don't want to do. I'm going to post poor-quality cell fone pictures of the best part of my outfit today. Behold! The best belt in the entire universe!

**dress: wet seal (?), necklace: forever 21, belt and flower: torrid

not pictured: cardigan: old navy, leggings: torrid, shoes: steve madden, bangle: for love 21 

**note: my dress is not dirty, the mirror is. Stay classy, ekg!

This outfit could have been even more amazing had I been able to wear the flat slouchy boots I'd set out. Unfortunately,  some boy told me this morning that the high in Phoenix for today was 90 degrees. It was definitely no more than 76! For shaaaame!!!

Yours truly,

ekg♥

"Science vs. Romance"

Dear The Internets,

Dating.

Hmmmmm....I hate dating, honestly. Maybe I don't hate it. I just hate the fact that I'm not very good at it. It's just hard. It's hard to share yourself with a stranger, in my opinion. I have an irrational dislike for that so I usually end up "dating"/"liking" people from my day to day life. Neighbors, coworkers, schoolmates, boys who work at Wells Fargo, etc. That has not worked out so well, let me tell you. I mean, at first I will say that yes- dating people you already know is rather useful. They know your quirks already, so they're not surprised by the random shit you do. Many of them have seen how you look like in the morning...hallelujah! Etc. Etc. Etc.

However! (Oh yes, there is always a HOWEVER when it comes to things that seem easy) things don't always go as smoothly as one would hope. And by that I mean that things usually turn to shit rather quickly.

Dating only people you already know is really hard to maintain.  Because you're limited, first of all, to who you date. More importantly, when things end (and trust me, they usually will) it will be that much harder to let go because you don't want to kick them out of your life completely, yet they really need to go away. ASAP. Or, you will find yourself having to be all avoidant and weird because you don't want to run into them even though you most likely always will.

Following me, Internets?

Dating as a FAT GIRL is even trickier. Most guys who are my age (or close to it) do not want to date a fat girl. They don't care that I'm fucking fabulous. They don't care that I'm stylish. They don't care that I'm smart and reasonably educated. They don't care that I'm a really great kisser and relatively flexible.  All they care about is what their friends will say. Oh, rubbish! So obviously, there isn't alot of honest-t0-goodness dating opportunities with these cats. And really, a girl needs another friend with benefits or one-night-stand like she needs another chin.

Then there is the flip side. Those guys who looooooooove fat girls, sometimes a little too much. It's creepy, really. To only be enamoured to a person's size? That's randomly nuts!  But it happens. And these guys always seem to find me too, whether it be online or at the supermarket.

Attention! The following line is NOT flattering to fat girls.

"I'm not usually attracted to bigger girls, but...." Neither is "I have this thing for Big Beautiful Women."

Really? Because I don't have this thing for Weird Creepy Men approaching me in parking lots.

If one more guy says this to me, ever, I may just jump off a cliff (into a pool of pudding, of course!) Mmmmm....I love chocolate pudding.

Anyway, yeah.  I hate dating.

Yours truly,

ekg♥